Surrealestate 2021 SYFY TV Quotes

Introduction

Premiering on July 16, 2021, on both CTV Sci-Fi Channel and Syfy in the US, SurrealEstate is a paranormal drama TV show from Canada. No one else takes on the cases that real estate agent Luke Roman and his elite team of specialists do: residences that are haunted or possessed and terrify potential purchasers.

From Closings to Crossings: Quotes from SurrealEstate (2021) on SYFY TV

SEASON 1

EPISODE 1

Luke:

She knows where all

of the bodies are buried.

So to speak.

Luke:

Why don't you wait to

take Susan to your dark,

nihilistic places until after

she's filled out her W-4, shall we?

Luke:

The light of day can fool you.

Susan:

And your boss, Luke, is

kind of a mysterious figure

in the business. But

real estate should have

some mystery, some romance.

Don't you think?

Zoey:

For these people, it's

not just their houses,

you know, it's their lives.

Their lives have become a

Stephen King short story.

And they need someone

nice and smart to talk to.

Someone who wants to make a difference.

One house at a time.

Luke:

No problem, we just

learned some interesting things

about your house. It

would be a violation

of my sacred blood oath to

not disclose them to you.

Luke:

It's like the oath the doctors take.

It just mentions carpet more.

Luke:

There is something old and

very angry in this house.

These things,

they are like global

warming, or liver failure,

or the Easter Bunny.

Whether you believe in them or not,

they could still hurt you.

Susan:

You want me to be

your perky flight attendant

on the ethereal plane,

you're going to have

to open up a little.

Luke:

And one last thing.

Don't rule out the rational explanation.

Ever.

Phil:

No.

But I did shave a few seconds

off my best time in the 40.

Phil:

Man, from a pure emo-energy standpoint,

we're talking Tower of London

meets the Paris Catacombs with,

well, a little Wonderland

Ranch thrown in.

Susan:

We're a hormonal theme

park to begin with, and then

something short-circuits.

We flex a muscle we

didn't even know we had

and then boom!

Things move.

Susan:

And go easy with this guy.

Guys can do stuff to your head.

Make you doubt yourself.

Besides, he's-he's an opening act.

He's not a headliner.

Things get broken.

Luke:

Well, without the energy from

the open portal, he'll move on.

He's probably looking for a

ghostly mailman as we speak.

Luke:

Susan, people die.

Their souls, they pass on.

Only love and low maintenance

composite decking last forever.

Susan:

I believe it's going

to be very interesting

working for you.

Luke:

Still,

person's got to believe in something.

Don't you think?

EPISODE 2

Zoey:

You know, it's amazing

how the introduction

of just one foreign body

can disrupt one's Feng Shui.

August:

Our track record

with new employee

retention has been, um

lacklustre.

Luke:

It's like learning French.

First, you immerse yourself

in it, then you listen,

and study and, before you know it,

you're speaking it all on your own,

murdering the verbs and

giving the locals a good laugh.

August:

If one works at

Yellowstone National Park

one should not be

surprised to encounter a bear

every once in a while.

Luke:

No, it's just sometimes

these properties can

act a little differently

when your back is turned.

Luke:

I had one once I turned my back

and the central chimney

extended by six feet.

Like it was giving me the finger.

Megan:

I don't know when to believe you.

I know we faced down evil together

and tossed it a pork chop,

but I still have these

moments when I think maybe

you should be detained and studied.

Susan:

She's dead, right? Why would she lie?

Luke:

They are dangerous.

And until you learn a

little more about them,

you might want to think

about doing things our way.

Luke:

I still don't have that many friends.

But the ones I do?

The ones I do have are

really, really good.

And that's the way it's

going to be with you.

I can tell.

Luke:

It is a mask!

A disguise for something so powerful

that it could kill you.

Luke:

You need to trust me

or go work somewhere else

Somewhere where the barriers to a sale,

they don't come with

so many sharp teeth.

Susan's mom

Oh, this isn't about

lowering your standards, love,

It's about opening your heart.

Let them see who you really are.

I bet they'll like her.

Phil:

You must be careful.

If this is

what I think it is,

it is old,

it is cunning.

It also has an ego and

is easily distracted.

Use that.

But remember

it only exists to

inflict pain and sorrow.

And it sees you coming.

Luke:

No, you'd rather play kids' games.

Games you can win.

That's really pathetic.

Susan:

You played a minor, yet

integral role yourself.

Luke:

I'm just happy to help the ballclub.

I didn't even mind when

you called me a flake.

EPISODE 3

William Larson:

I have a story

that needs to flow out of me.

And that cannot happen

unless the environment I am in

lets that flow

remain uninterrupted.

William Larson:

Then tomorrow

you had better show

me the most messed-up,

walls bleeding, chain rattling,

Bloody-Mary-in-the-mirror

haunted houses in twelve states,

or I will be taking my business

elsewhere.

William Larson:

I want a house

that's gonna make Amityville

look like the house on Pooh Corner.

I want a house

where every night is

going to be Halloween

and where every day is going to be

Dias de los Muertos.

Zoey:

Next time, consider trusting me.

William Larson:

We don't seem to be clicking, do we?

Perhaps it's time for some

fresh blood, so to speak.

Luke:

Listen to what you're saying.

"We." "Us." Plural.

I'm all for picking your pronouns,

but it feels as if someone is using you

as their Bluetooth speaker.

August:

He's not. Which is perfect,

seeing how we are spelunking

the dark crevices of his personal life.

I don't spelunk.

Susan;

I owe you an apology.

I was dismissive and condescending.

It is a flaw in my character

and I am working on it.

Zoey:

I contain multitudes.

Thanking You.....

Grammy:

I lived in the past.

But one can't turn back time.

And so, with that lovely melody

playing in my head

I said goodbye to this world.

And it was only in the next

that I learned the awful truth

of what I'd done.

That none of us who love this place,

or slept in its water, could move on

until that melody was turned back.

Grammy:

I had no idea that

my final act of despair would

keep you all trapped here.

Susan:

He spent a few seconds in

there and came out looking like

a vegan at Sizzler. What was ?

Luke:

That was my house. I grew up there.

I had a lot of unusual friends.

They couldn't all come

with me to college.

Susan:

I look forward to reading about them

in broad daylight. With the light on.

Susan:

Life is short.

And sometimes you gotta

step up and close escrow

before you get beat

out by a better offer.

Luke's Ghost Mother:

I knew it was you the second that

Oh, the stories we tell ourselves.

You probably had some demented fantasy.

Luke's Ghost Mother:

My only fantasy was that

I'd never see you again.

Luke:

Just the first in a series

of crushing disappointments,

culminating about 73 seconds ago.

Luke's Ghost Mother:

And you're the one seeking the truth

for everyone else,

helping others with

their unfinished business

and yet, somehow,

you can't even face your own.

EPISODE 4

Susan:

There is always a tiny hiccup or two

moving into a new place.

These hiccups are temporary,

but the ocean outside

your window is forever.

August:

Houses are built to live

in and not to look on;

therefore, let use be

preferred before uniformity.

August:

We are looking for wandering souls

in a soulless environment.

Hardly seems productive.

Phil:

It's a creepshow that dares to

look like a creepshow, right?

Luke:

This is why we don't have H.R.

Zoey:

He can duct tape a KitchenAid

mixer to a walkie talkie

and use it to summon a

Sumerian trickster God. And me?

Well, it's self-explanatory.

Susan:

I'm a closer.

That's another way of saying I'm profit.

You're overhead.

Bernard Nightingale:

I designed it

for her.

My fiancée.

Every inch,

every corner.

Just for her.

Bernard Nightingale:

Every one of them a knife.

A knife stabbing into my guts.

Bernard Nightingale:

This house full of misery.

So anybody who ever lives here

is gonna be miserable, too.

It's my pain, but they're gonna goddamn feel it!

August:

This should allow you to instantly

render the entity to

irreparable particles.

Death beyond death.

If the moment comes,

don't hesitate.

Zoey:

Soul mates are

purely mythical beasts.

Like Bigfoot.

Susan:

There could be some

pheranormal Phermanomal

There could be some

spookies I need to observe.

Phil:

She looks so peaceful.

Almost like she's dead.

Susan:

So, if the vengeful

sailors don't fill our lungs

with seawater and kill

us, the influencers

will unleash their Twitter mob.

Zoey:

If this were a movie,

this is where I'd bring in

Eternal Flame by The Bangles.

Luke:

The solution is simple. It's

not easy, but it's simple.

Luke:

Before you go to sleep at night

you might want to take an

extra look under your bed.

Susan:

I'm glad you didn't molecularly

deconstruct a sad old man.

He moved on so easily.

Unfinished business.

Luke:

Principle isn't a principle

until it costs you something.

Luke:

I realize that living

in the past is toxic.

I spend my days trying to

help lost souls move on.

Maybe I should take my own advice.

EPISODE 5

Luke:

What a serene,

inspiring environment to nurture

the muse of a creative artist.

Luke:

There's something still here.

Felt youth. Innocence.

A whole lotta lonely.

Sister Yasmin:

It's time to wake a few sleeping dogs.

Luke:

You gotta tune a Stradivarius

before you play it, right?

Well, you are a Strad, man.

You are the ultimate

Strad of your generation.

And we?

We gotta tune the room to you.

And that takes a little time.

Phil:

It's Mozart's Requiem.

The Lacrimosa.

It was, like, a Thursday night and

they were having choir practice.

And so I walked in.

There wasn't a powerful electric shock

when I touched the door handle,

so I took that as a good sign.

And I'm sitting there in the back pew

and I just let the music wash over me.

I hadn't heard it since I, um

since I left.

And I was surprised how it

helped.

I felt better.

Gave me strength and

And comfort.

You could've taken that away from me.

I'm really glad that you didn't.

Phil:

I miss feeling like

somebody's in charge.

Like our destinies

are being crafted by somebody kind

and benevolent

and wise.

Luke:

You are in touch with something

very real and very special here.

It's the raw, childlike creativity

that we're all born with

before the world takes it away.

You run away from it now, you might never, ever find it again.

Luke:

But the thing about moms is,

they never stop being your mom.

And you gotta believe me because

I know a little bit about this.

Even when they're away,

they're still still kind of there.

Luke's Father

Must be grueling,

lifting those

big pens,

pushing 'em across pages all day.

EPISODE 6

Zoey:

They're like bunnies

in cosmetics testing

you just know something

terrible's going to happen to them.

Catherine:

People are such snobs about

their precious Pernambucos

but carbon fiber provides the perfect

blend of flexibility and strength.

I suppose the murderer proved that.

Susan;

God, Zooey, it's like you have

some strange, hypnotic power

over these poor boys.

Thank goodness you're using

it for good and not evil.

Luke:

She likes to keep to her schedule.

Yeah, she has to.

Gotta take a lot out of you, structuring

destinies to smite your enemies.

Luke:

The truth can be dumb.

But that doesn't stop it

from being, you know, true.

Luke:

Now, see, if you would have said that,

it would have come off

all brilliant and ironic.

Luke:

The house had marked you somehow.

Now she's aware of where you are.

Probably not a constant awareness.

I mean, structuring events.

Luke:

Watchmakers need everything

in sequence, in order.

August:

Imagine a computer with a

spinning wheel that never ends,

searching for an answer

it can never find.

An electronic stroke.

in the mind? That's one thing.

EPISODE 7

August:

Who would like to

accompany me to witness

any horrid transformations

that might take place?

Zoey

It's like

Marie Curie/ Edgar Allen Poe

gave birth to Steve Jobs and we're

looking inside of its brain.

August:

It must be difficult to

focus when you're always

busy trying to formulate

your next ironic remark.

Luke:

I was so eager to believe that

everything would be all right

that I ignored that voice in my ear.

Rather lazy intellectually, though.

Susan:

Some of you believe in other things.

Odd things, amazing things, beyond imagination.

You've opened my mind

and that's never a bad thing.

EPISODE 8

Zoey:

Congratulations on your

low threshold for happiness.

August:

It knows me.

And I think

it likes me.

It seems to be

telepathically reading our desires

and then leveraging

them to keep us here.

Megan (Possessed Roadie):

This house,

it's a feast!

So much pain and

confusion and heartbreak.

You took two of my lives,

but now

I'm home.

Luke:

You start needing people, they need you.

You get attached, bonded

and it gets complicated.

And one day you just

You lose them.

Luke:

Death is a part of life.

Usually the quiet part.

Luke:

We gotta be who we are.

No faking it.

We are built for a particular job.

EPISODE 9

Luke:

These dead souls, they hate change.

They're stuck here like a bug in amber

and a lot of them resent

the ones they left behind

move on with their lives,

change addresses, get married.

August:

But I have to believe that it was you

that brought him into this weird,

awful little world full of death and

monsters and things that

don't make any empirical sense.

Phil:

The groom is carrying some serious

metaphysical baggage.

Phil:

Oh, I love it. It's like existentially Googling your exes.

August:

He walks an odd, often lonely path.

I'm so glad you've chosen to walk it with him, for however long.

Ruby:

If being old is a gift,

I'd like to give it back.

Ruby:

But, still, a broken promise can be a powerful thing.

EPISODE 10

Megan:

The things I've seen

these past few months

feel like one big hallucination:

a fever dream.

House:

This night has been a very long time in the making.

House:

When you closed it,

all those poor souls just

lingered on here.

Their presence

gave me a power beyond what

I had ever imagined before.

They created chaos.

I adore chaos.

And emotion, love,

sadness, longing, regret.

I feast on them.

House:

Your gifts make you a somewhat

unpredictable adversary.

House:

They're all enjoying lovely

little reunions of their own,

inspired by yours.

I can only hope they'll all be as

Complicated.

August:

If I had known how

little time we'd have,

I would have spent

every minute with you.

Father Diaz:

If recent history teaches us anything,

it is that perversion is not

exclusionary to the calling.

House:

I now realize that

some of our worst fears

are not about hell

beasts and nightmares. No!

They're centered on the

ones we loved and lost.

Did we fail them?

Disappoint them?

Will we ever love again?

And worst of all:

were we ever really

loved in the first place?

Zoey:

You just blinked out like a Christmas light, or a dead star.

Kyle:

That was some real

four-dimensional chess

I was playing there.

House:

You taught me that fear flashes bright

and fades quickly.

But despair

Despair is a slow and painful burn.

Phil:

Fascinating, metaphysically complex,

yet ultimately harmless.

And now I find myself

in a very dark place,

made even darker

by how wrong we were.

Father Diaz:

We spent so much time on the

ancient rites of exorcism.

Maybe we should have done a refresher

on the vow of celibacy.

House:

A slow, painful burn.

It just never goes away.

August:

Or, perhaps, we all leave here

now and live to fight another day.

August:

When that portal reopens,

the pressure will suck in every extranormal entity like a Roomba in an ant farm.

Luke's Dead Twin Sister:

And you got to live.

Nearly 37 years experiencing love, joy,

pain, trauma, regret.

All I got was darkness and loss.

But we are still connected, you and I.

Luke's Dead Twin Sister:

We have a link, the connection only twins can share.

Luke's Dead Twin Sister:

She had one job!

I loathed her weakness,

her failure to bring me

safely into the world.

And, later,

it just became a giggle.

Luke's Dead Twin Sister:

A constant song of rage and regret

playing in her head over and over.

Luke's Dead Twin Sister:

It's only fair.

36 years to drink in all of the sensations

and emotions that come with being alive.

And, unlike you, I shall revel in them!

August:

It's better to burn out than fade away.

Susan:

Moving things around,

the fires

It always felt like this

shameful,

secret thing that only

happened when I was

upset or

or scared.

Susan:

Tonight, for the first

time in my entire life,

I I really felt like

I was in control.

It was precise.

It was not emotional. It was

Tactical.

And, honestly, it was a rush!

It was fun!

Luke:

Tell me a joke.

Rattle a chain, knock a ten-pin over

Anything.

'Cause I'm not sure I can

handle losing you again.

SEASON 2

EPISODE 1

Luke:

Some agencies, they help their clients

sell their houses by reducing clutter.

We help them by stopping

the walls from bleeding.

Susan:

These final negotiations

are always a little

tricky.

August:

I find nothing funny about

our current situation.

Nothing electrical seems to work.

Looks like we have

to do this old school.

Susan:

I believe the right

house is like a soulmate.

You can look at a thousand other houses

but when the right one

comes along, you know.

And it's magic.

Zoey:

It's like

it's like a big, angry

bear and with this kitchen,

your house is Leonardo

DiCaprio waving a stick.

August:

I know this agency was

founded on Luke's ability

to see these things,

talk with them, reason with them,

even when they didn't feel like it.

A difficult gift to

replace with technology.

August:

There has to be something more

efficient here than Scrabble tiles.

And yet they came through.

Susan:

Not every house has to be a horror show.

Susan:

I thrive on being busy. Always have.

I'm living my best life.

Zoey:

Yeah, they have gamma rays on vegetables.

Zoey:

When shit gets real and

your walls start to bleed,

they generally call on

Mister Ripley and myself.

Phil:

They say it's only a matter of time

and finding the right situation.

Luke:

You know, Jeopardy is

a lot more challenging

without the voices whispering

the answers in my ear.

Susan:

A reminder that the wonders

of modern life come with danger.

Susan:

Because home is the one place

where you should always feel safe.

August:

I work in real estate.

I'm perfectly aware of what

a middle finger looks like.

Writer:

You know how I like to

start every new novel

in a new and fresh place. I mean,

if you cannot frighten

your own willy off you

from time to time to prove to yourself

that you're still

fogging up the mirror, eh?

Luke:

You know, it feels really ironic.

The things you do Did.

The things you saw and talked to.

Those were the things

that I struggled with.

And, now, they're um

They're kinda gone.

And you're leaving too.

Megan:

Thank you for making

my world so much bigger.

Luke:

There's something about toys

that works particularly well.

Possibly their simplicity

and playful appearance

create a rapport with

those on the other side.

EPISODE 2

Doug:

Some people like the idea

of moving into a haunted house.

In my experience,

they are fine with the idea.

Susan:

Sometimes the truth is

mean.

Director:

The shovel sounds are all wrong. It

It is supposed to sound

like a girl unearthing

her rotting father,

ready to feast on him.

It sounds like you're planting azaleas.

Kit:

Worst part is the silence.

Willa Stans:

Oh, it's it's it's

so nice to meet someone

who appreciates the, you know,

game of telephone that history plays.

Willa Stans:

So often people just want the gossip.

They rarely want the truth.

Phil:

Legends are a lot sexier than the truth.

Susan:

They value the authenticity

the hunka-chunka brings to the table.

Susan:

You're offering a unique

combo of glamping and

humping.

EPISODE 3

Susan:

Why do all of August's machines

look like what people in 1953

thought machines in

1997 would look like?

Luke:

Apparently the other

side is way more sensitive

to the analog stuff than the digital.

August:

The man's a carnival ride

with a loose bolt on a

tight downhill turn.

Phil:

And it always gets my

attention when things rhyme.

Think my mother was

traumatized by a greeting card

when I was in utero.

Tolliver:

Some mistakes you never stop paying for.

Zoey:

Just don't mess with his hair.

It's like a World Heritage Site.

Luke:

Susan, if we learned

anything in the past few days,

that everybody sees everything

through their own lens.

They rationalize. They prevaricate.

Susan:

A woman in business,

working twice as hard

to get half as far. I see you!

You got used by a lot of men.

Susan:

Granted, the age

difference and power dynamic

could have been a lot better, but

he didn't want anything from you.

Except you.

Susan:

I was enveloped by him,

controlled by him and

called it a relationship.

And now I'm here working

for you and it's starting

to feel like the second

verse of a really shitty song.

Susan:

Try, just really dig deep

and endeavor to imagine a world

where it isn't all about you.

EPISODE 4

Luke:

This cabin in the woods is

creating more drama than the million dollar property.

Zoey:

This is like an Oscar Wilde

play about mistaken identity.

They're pretending to shop for a house

and I'm pretending this isn't a complete waste of my time.

Zoey:

Yeah, just testing the

fence for weak spots.

Like a velociraptor.

Kay Bozer:

My nights are full and rich,

so I like to eat early.

When there was only one set

of footprints in the carpet,

that's when you were carrying me.

Luke:

Feels creepy wearing a

metaphysical nicotine

patch on our first date.

August:

Science is often creepy.

August:

You strike me as an oasis of pragmatism

in a place obsessed with fantasy,

like the last personal injury attorney in a

hastily assembled amusement park.

August:

I focused on the primacy of the individual and of individual concerns

above any abstract reality or grand metaphysical system. Still couldn't sell a

salmon to a grizzly bear.

August:

I focused on what they deeply needed,

not what they said they wanted

because seldom are they the same thing.

Kay Bozer:

They've seen a lot.

Most men your age our age

still have the eyes of adolescent boys.

Zoey:

You need to be safe.

You need to be happy. You need sunshine.

But most of all, you need

to come home every night

and close the door against the world

in a house that loves you back.

I bet you can be terribly persuasive.

To the point of irresistibility.

Kay Bozer:

Boys are a dime a dozen.

Dime a dozen.

Boys are like wine

that just went into the barrel.

Just went into the barrel.

They haven't become complex

complex, or interesting.

They're just an amalgam of chemicals.

EPISODE 5

August:

We had everything but time.

August:

An arrogant young man

shaking his fist at the darkness.

Luke:

Every house is a

living, breathing thing.

Some more than others.

Client painter:

The brush in my hand

had a sense of purpose

I'd never felt.

I don't know if you

could call it confidence,

but it was peace.

I truly became an artist here.

It's like I could fly.

Rochelle:

Just because you're used to

doing things a certain way,

doesn't mean you can't

move on from that,

do the same thing just as well.

Only differently.

Client painter:

Became my own little

monument to my existence.

Something bigger than me to

prove I couldn't be erased.

Luke:

Eventually, you stand on one foot, and you squint,

starts to look a lot like destiny.

August:

I don't recall us

ever gazing into each

other's eyes and

murmuring sweet root

passwords to one another.

August:

I saw

nothing.

I saw

everything.

I saw life

and what comes after

from the cold

logical perspective of a machine

that can never live nor die.

August:

I saw Orion

echoing with spirits

crying through eternity.

Atoms warping with the weight of souls

striving to be reborn.

All parts of the celestial

ellipses, the astral ouroboros.

In the end,

Erebuster showed me

there are no answers,

only deeper, more

wonderful questions.

That the best we can do is

stop worrying about death

and focus on life, on

on living.

Luke:

A monument to her existence.

Something bigger than her to

prove she couldn't be erased.

Luke:

It's always the question, isn't it?

How much of ourselves

do we owe to others?

Where do they leave off and we begin?

Susan:

Change is seldom easy.

But there comes a time

when change is necessary.

I find that time is now.

EPISODE 6

August:

It's fine to wander when you're young.

Noble, even.

But one must eventually choose a path

and follow it to the end

because old wanderers

lack direction, purpose.

August:

My sense of common decency

tells me the Masseys

should be sealed in a

bell jar and studied!

Rita Weiss:

You recognize the ultimate

futility of it all.

The trick is to identify

what we can change

and what we can't.

EPISODE 7

Lomax:

Number one, I know what you guys do.

Number two, I currently

sew dead people's lips shut

and scoop out their guts

like a Halloween pumpkin,

so whatever kind of

"weird" you got is

a lateral move at best.

May only be temporary.

Everything's temporary.

August:

The cast changes regularly,

but the story is pretty consistent:

There is something in the house

making it hard for us to sell

and we make it go away.

Luke:

You can ignore it.

But it's always there

because it's a part of you.

It's where you came from.

And until you confront it,

it's your unfinished business.

EPISODE 8

Lomax:

No, seriously, everybody talks about

doing something they love.

My advice? Do something

you're really good at.

Love is for the weekends.

Phil:

Legends become legends for a reason.

Luke:

You know, I should probably

thank you for hitting me

with the big guns early on.

Because every little bump

along the road ever since?

Seemed pretty manageable by comparison.

Luke's mother:

I spent every day all alone with

two strangers: You and me.

And the more I saw you

figuring out the world

the more I just felt it slipping away.

EPISODE 9

Luke:

Universe is a freaky place.

Phil:

It's the ones that don't

look like Castle Dracula

that worry me the most.

Luke:

Because when you love somebody

you want them to be

happy, no matter what.

Even if they're happy

with somebody else.

Zayan:

I thought I loved you

so much that I, uh

I couldn't let you go.

Now I know I love you

so much that I can.

Zoey:

I can actually help people.

I can afflict the comfortable,

but comfort the afflicted.

Luke:

To be honest,

the thought of you with a

law degree is terrifying.

EPISODE 10

Rochelle:

August, you can't be happy

duct taping a VCR to a

a blender so you can

frappé some evil spirit

and calling it science.

Susan:

A real estate agent who

hangs around the office

has no reason to live.

Lomax:

Darkest motivational poster ever.

Thomas Rabbitfoot:

It wants permanence.

It wants somebody to move in and stay.

It wants to be a part

of somebody forever!

Phil:

I'm an exorcist! Augie is a scientist!

Luke is a specialist!

Zooey's an anarchist!

One of us has to be

right about something!

Luke:

I've come to understand

the danger and futility

of holding onto something too tight.

Even

something you love.

So, just so you know,

wherever you go from here,

there is something about home.

And this is home.

SEASON 3

EPISODE 1

Zoey:

What'd you do that for? I was so close.

Always defer to the person in your face

before the person on the

phone. It's why they gave you

a hold button instead of a handgun.

August:

My point is,

we should be focused on

the advancement of mankind, not its annihilation.

Man 5:

You know I think that flipping a house

is very much like dressing up a dead body for an open casket service.

August:

What a charming place

for a clandestine meeting.

It's quickly turning

into our satellite office.

Practically next door. It's

like a second conference room with cold beer on tap.

August:

But in my dark nights of

the soul, I realize that,

in the end, it's

it's just the same.

August:

To do so again would be to

admit I have learned nothing.

That is weakness.

Something I loathe in myself.

Cowboy:

And I went somewhere where

dreams come true.

You can live the life

that you might'a had.

Cowboy:

But I had to come back and tell you

live your dreams.

Don't die with them.

Zoey:

Stop trying to replace us.

You know, find some new

talent, give 'em some love

for who they are instead

of expecting them to be

Well, us.

Megan:

Everyone's evolving.

Making bold moves forward.

And here you are.

EPISODE 2

Rochelle:

Same old story:

A woman comes home

early and catches her man

with a microwave.

August:

Why build a magnetron

when one can simply borrow

from the people who brought

us the six-minute baked potato?

August:

It's like asking a prizefighter

trying to make weight

to hand over his spleen.

Must be nice to play in

the big leagues again.

Tyler:

Our society, we tend to just

put people in a box.

We just put them in a box

and toss them out when

we're done with them.

Just toss them right out,

into whatever. Sink or swim, right?

Mitch (Father of Possessed son):

I was paying the price of immortality.

It turns out that the price was higher.

Luke:

Apparently, we have

a better chance

catching wind with a net.

August:

I've learned over time

this demon-extraction

business is very bespoke.

One size does not fit all.

August:

But standing here with you both

staring down the unknown

and the unspeakable

It just feels right.

August:

I helped save the life

of a nice young man, so

Yes.

It was actually the most

worthwhile thing I've done

in some time.

LUKE:

I guess some people

are irrationally terrified

by your filing system.

EPISODE 3

August:

I was reminded of,

and humbled by the

awesome inspirational power

of unlimited funding

unburdened by supervision

and accountability

Death:

The oldest reason in the world.

I need a favor.

Luke:

You got a whole

universe waiting for you.

What are you doing in

this musty old house?

Luke:

There's a ton of bad

people in the world.

Just take one of them.

Or somebody old.

Somebody that already lived a good life.

Come on.

After all the souls

I've brought across

You owe me one.

Luke:

The time is never right.

But it's always

the time.

Luke:

He will never forget

the strong woman who made him strong.

Sure, someday he'll stop hurting.

Hopefully before too long.

But forget you?

Nope.

Never.

Susan:

Yesterday, I got chased through a field

by a, a vengeful farmer ghost couple

and nearly decapitated by a big, sharp,

rusty, cutting thingy

and that still wasn't

the worst part of my day.

EPISODE 4

Lomax:

Plus, monocles are super dashing. Hm.

I'm sure the monopoly guy has

to fight them off with a shovel.

Susan:

Losing her really felt like losing home.

Think that's why it feels

so good to do this now.

You know, it connects me with her.

Susan:

Nothing sells a house like a story

Luke:

Well, that phrase should

be on our business card.

Susan;

Give yourself some time.

Live and breathe.

Before being trapped and boiled alive.

Tag:

The little girl was named summer,

which is kind of ironic

because she had anything

but a sunny life.

EPISODE 5

Paul:

It's like leaving a painting unfinished.

Susan:

I hate to see you waiting for something

that's not going to happen.

Blake:

Enjoy the garden, Jan.

It's as close to creating

the world as we ever get.

Rita:

I don't ask you how

you cast your spells,

or commune beyond the veil.

Or make your hair do that.

Please don't ask me to

divulge my trade secrets.

Look upon my works and despair.

Blake:

They sit underground and wait.

Just biding their time,

waiting for something magical

to come along and coax

them out of the ground.

It's almost romantic.

Jan:

It smells like joy.

Like

It grew from a happy

memory someone planted.

Lomax:

Sometimes you have to leave

to appreciate what you left.

Paul:

Shouldn't some things

stay the same forever?

August:

But to reach the sun,

new foliage must push

aside the old growth.

It's just the way of things.

Jan:

I'm just trying to remember

why I loved you once.

August:

A child picking daisies in a field

would tell you flowers are harmless.

But the fly ensnared

in the Venus flytrap

Paul?

Might disagree.

Luke:

Cause just when I

thought you hit bottom,

you've managed to find a shovel.

Rita:

For someone in your squirmy

little niche of the business,

that's an awfully sanctimonious view

of death as a sales tool.

Luke:

Luck is not a strategy!

The story reads as folklore,

which means it has a seed of truth.

Lomax:

Coming back has been like

putting on an old hoodie:

All warm and familiar.

It just doesn't quite fit anymore.

Luke:

We are truly screwed as a species.

You know, the cockroaches,

they're gonna take over.

They're gonna move in,

figure out how to unlock doors

and they're going to

operate our small appliances.

EPISODE 6

Bob Livingston:

You're lean, you're

nimble. You're bespoke.

I'm not doing this to

get bigger, just better.

Tag:

Nothing gets your attention

like a scary guy with

a painted face and a gun

in your upstairs hallway.

It certainly sucks the thunder out of my improperly filed home

equity line of credit story.

Harry:

Never gave me a choice.

Never judged me, never

told me what to do.

Only loved me.

Me, who had been led to

believe was u lovable.

Harry:

Not every soul needs to move forward.

Not every immortal spirit

needs a kick in the ass.

Some of us just want to go

back to that moment in life

we were the happiest and just

Just be.

Luke:

You do what you do long enough,

you start thinking you know what's best.

Luke:

Heaven isn't always a

place you never been.

Sometimes.

It's the best place

you ever were.